August 4, 2007

PBS Begathon Protocol

I am an avid supporter of and viewer of PBS.

That said...

Each show has two emcees-

One who is so excited they're about to pee their pants. They've obviously forgotten their daily dose of Ritalin and/or need to greatly reduce their caffeine intake.

The second one keeps looking at his/her hyper counterpart thinking the same thing you are but they're on national television and have to pretend everything is copacetic.

Their goal is to get you to call in and buy very overpriced copies of the show you are missing while MC#1 jumps up and down having a conniption fit.

They've got you so worked up and excited you fall all over yourself looking for the telephone.

You forget you aren't the least bit interested in the mating habits of forest elves or whether or not the BeeGees make a comeback--you just have to have that there video.

Finally, you find the telephone only to realize there is a petite teenager attached to it having a very important phone call...

"What are you going to wear tomorrow? Uh-huh--uh-huh. Well I'm going to wear_______. Yeah, Uh-huh--uh-huh. Did you see what Taylee was wearing yesterday? Oh...My...God. I about died."

Thank god for teenagers because by the time she gets finished going through all of the uh-huh's you've come to your senses and remember you really don't need the PBS video after all.

Phew. That was close.