July 27, 2011

The Difference Between Yankees And Okies

Quite a few outsiders decide to make Oklahoma their home for various reasons. I’ve met some of them and we get a kick out of comparing our accents and cultures.

I met a fellow from New York; he’s been here for forty years but still retained some of his accent and way of saying things. One big difference is diversity. They still keep all the races in separate little neighborhoods and no one dares intermingle outside of that. I find this rather odd.

The man I met, we’ll call him Ed, said he came here to go to college. Oklahoma University draws quite a few people. While here he met his wife and after dating her for a while took her back home to meet his mama. First words out of his mother’s mouth were, “what are you?”

Now down here in Oklahoma nobody cares what you are; most of us are mutts and don’t have a problem with that. If you ask us what we are you’ll get different answers such as, Okie, southern or maybe even American but nationality doesn’t really come up so much since most don’t have a full pedigree.

She told Ed's mama she was Heinz 57, German, English and Dutch.

Then Ed’s mama asked her what her favorite vegetable was and she told her okra. She about come unglued.

Well, Ed’s mama didn’t want him to marry her because, not only was she not Italian, she wasn’t full blood anything. And who eats okra?

They married anyway, I don’t know the particulars and didn’t ask if his mama ever warmed up to her. It’s not polite to ask private questions when you just meet someone.

Around here we’ll ask a person, “where’re you from?” but nationality isn’t important. We’re just making polite conversation.

Aside from the diversity issue, he mentioned how we say things different down here. He drinks coffee and apparently in New York people take it with milk and sugar. Here in Oklahoma most people drink it black. He ordered a coffee, regular, which where he comes from means with milk and sugar. The waitress brought him a black cup of coffee. They had a discussion and he soon found out that we don’t do it that way down here. If you want extra condiments in your coffee you’ll have to put it in yourself. Of course now days you can go to Starbucks and probably get it that way.

I told him I didn’t drink coffee and he said tea is different too. If you order tea in New York you get a cup of hot tea. In Oklahoma you get a glass of iced tea and if you are in eastern or southern Oklahoma you get sugar in it.

I told him I drink my tea hot and he asked me why? “That’s not southern.”

I have no idea.

Ed also learned that southern people are all about brands. If you have a sniffle you ask for a Kleenex. We call all soft drinks Coke and then we’ll ask, “What kind of Coke do you want?”

If two cars hit one another we say, “They had a wreck.”

After visiting with him and a woman from Illinois they determined that I am bilingual; I speak Okie but I write English.

I wonder if I can put that on my resume?

July 26, 2011

There, Their And They're: Proper Usage

It’s not that hard and yet even on major news websites and newspapers I see this written wrong. Are teachers not going over this in class? You would think if a person went to college to be an editor, writer or teacher they would know proper word usage.

Possibly too many are in a hurry, they are used to writing text speak where it’s not important, so they learn bad habits.

Even people who are supposedly going to college will write a comment on Facebook using the wrong word. Hopefully they don’t turn in their homework with these errors.


People seem to think this is a universal word to be used in any situation but it only works for “place.” If you are not talking about a point of time or position on a map this is the wrong word to use.

“Are we there yet?”

“Can you take it from there?”


This one means possessive even though it is horribly overlooked and underused. Too many people use his brother up above. Don’t neglect the poor guy; he has a place in sentences. Their means more than one person owns something. If you are talking about one person you should say “his” or “her.”

“Their car is blue.”

“We took their advice.”


They’re is actually two words put together, which we call a contraction. Only in situations where the words “they are,” can be substituted is it appropriate. Again, lazy people will use the word “there” instead of this one.

“They’re going with us.”

“They’re up early today.”

They’re using the wrong word there and should work on their English so they get it right.

July 17, 2011

Chinese Products Are Not All Bad

Americans obviously don’t realize just how much of our merchandise is produced in China or they wouldn’t say rude things about their products.

If something goes wrong they’ll say, “Oh, it must be made in China.”

Yeah, probably because almost everything we own is made in China. Just because something comes from China doesn’t mean it is poorly made. There are a lot of great products made there as well as the inexpensive trinkets you can pick up at dollar stores.

I've heard some say they are boycotting everything made in China. Good luck with that.

Take a look at the labels on your clothing, even the designer items. Go ahead, I’ll wait…

You see even the great names like Blow Fish, Fossil, Dockers and Bisou Bisou to name just a few are made in China. There are thousands of products and brand names; so saying everything made there is inferior is just wrong.

I love to read and I read everything, including labels but I doubt the average American takes time to notice these things otherwise they wouldn’t think all things made in China are inferior.

Few Americans know where their possessions are made.

Those American cars you drive have components and parts made in China, so even items touting made in the USA aren’t completely manufactured here; ask any mechanic, he knows.

Many electronic parts are made in China so even though it may say made in Japan, or some other country, not all of it was.

A lot of fabric is produced in China so even if it says it's made in another country part of it came from China.

I realize China has been in the news concerning some inferior and hazardous products but you can’t blame the entire country just like you can’t blame all American farmers because some sold produce with ecoli.

Most of the time you get what you pay for. If you buy a toy that is really cheap and not produced by a reputable company like Fisher Price or Lego, you are taking a risk regardless of where it’s made. Bigger companies pay inspectors to make sure what we buy is safe for our children no matter where it's produced. Buying from an unknown source is taking a risk regardless of how much money you save.

Make sure what you are buying comes from a good company and in most cases you won’t have anything to worry about and land of origin won't be an issue.

July 14, 2011

Where Have All The Role Model Sitcoms Gone?

I can remember when all television shows portrayed families in more normal settings with parents that had morals and kids that had rules. Now days they seem to enjoy only showing dysfunctional homes glamorizing messed up people and making it seem okay, fun and something to laugh at.

The shows in the 60’s and 70’s may have been a bit over the top at times showing only perfect homes with great meals where everyone sat down together and ate but it gave us a standard to work towards and hopefully achieve on some level. Now days it seems everyone is too lazy and takes a blasé attitude towards family values and housekeeping.

Some disagree and feel the old shows made people feel inadequate and inferior with a father and mother in the home, everything in order and the children all getting along but I think it’s good to have these role models.

All In The Family was the start of a trend towards dysfunctional television. Many loved the show but I never cared for it, between Carroll O’Connor’s racism and condescending remarks and Jean Stapleton’s annoying voice I would rather turn the channel.

There is nothing wrong with having a happy medium. We don’t have to have an all white family living in a middle class home in suburbia but it is good to highlight families that are trying instead of dysfunctional homes where everything is in chaos and no one seems to care.

I recently watched a show called Raising Hope where a young man is trying to take care of a baby he suddenly finds himself responsible for because he had unprotected sex with a girl who is now in prison for murder. His parents are low class people with very few brains cells between them and the poor infant is lucky to survive an episode.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy comedy I just don’t think these sort of shows are giving the average Americans a good example. Yeah, I know people shouldn’t pattern their lives after television but unfortunately many do. We have a lot of impressionable citizens out there that get most of what they know from a screen, either through the media or Internet.

Look at copycat crimes, sure those nuts would have committed some sort of misdeed regardless of what they saw on television but the media gives them ideas they wouldn’t normally have thought of because, well, they aren’t too bright to begin with.

My point is, if we have shows showing great families with high standards it gives the rest of the nation something to work towards instead of feeling like sitting in front of a television with a frozen pizza and not knowing where their children are is good enough so don’t worry about it.

There are some who feel they are scarred for life because their own families didn’t live up to the expectations of sitcoms of old but I’m quite sure there will be those that are equally marked by the new shows glamorizing white trash and socially impaired parents.

Because of the old shows my family sits down together in the dining room eating meals together and talking to each other. You may laugh and think that’s weird but when their friends come to visit they think it’s really cool and wished their family did it too.

Raising Hope:

July 13, 2011

Death Causes Amnesia

Have you ever noticed how when a person passes away people tend to overlook or down right forget all the bad things they did? Suddenly they only recall the funny or amazing things about that individual even if they were real rascals.

I have a problem understanding this tradition.

Some have a superstition about saying anything negative about the dearly departed. I’m not sure what is supposed to happen to us, maybe the floor will swallow us up, we’ll burn in hell or they’ll come back and haunt us. I’m not sure, but my granny always said, “Don’t speak ill of the dead.”

I’ve always been one to question authority especially if it doesn’t make any sense. I’m not so rude as to highlight ol’ Elmer’s discretions but later on I’m not going to only mention the “good” things especially if he was mostly known for his tirades or misdeeds.

People want to only remember the good in others and have a tendency to talk about all the fun stuff and even laughing off the negative things like it was nothing.

“Ha-ha, you remember when cousin Larry used to get drunk and kick the dog? That was a hoot.”

No, it wasn’t a hoot it was awful and I personally can’t join in, in the fun of laughing off a tyrants errors just because the old coot is now dead.

Suddenly, because a person has passed on everything that used to drive us nuts or make us angry is now not such a big deal and even humorous.

I don’t think so.

Bad is bad whether the person is living or dead and I personally can’t overlook it. I don’t hold a grudge, I just don’t paint a different picture simply because a person is no longer living.

Call me cynical if you want, but that’s how I look at it. Oh and by the way, the floor hasn’t swallowed me up and I’ve yet to be haunted by anyone so it’s safe to say the truth; I’m living proof of it.

July 8, 2011

Games I Like To Play

These are a few games I like to play around my house. They only require one player but you can add people if you want to make it a whole party.

Hide and go seek:

This is when you put something in a safe place and forget where that secure location is. You can spend hours playing this one depending on how good your memory is and how good you are at hiding things from yourself. The older you get the more fun it is because it takes less time to forget the location of the treasure. It’s most exciting when you are trying to find your car keys and have an appointment.

Name that person:

You see a face and you are pretty sure you know them but can’t place who they are or from where you know them. This can kill many hours while you rack your brain trying to remember. What’s really fun is when you forget a few important items on your shopping list because you were trying to recall a name. Which brings us to our next game…

Re-track your steps:

In this game you go back to where you were earlier to retrieve the items you forgot. It could be a grocery item from the store, your mislaid cup or your cell phone from Penney’s dressing room way across town; always a lot of fun when you have time to kill.

Miss your exit:

This is especially fun if you are on a turnpike with limited exits because it could be miles before you are able to get off and you just never know where you might end up. Plus, and this is the bonus, it costs more to get back on and the people in those little huts don’t care that you missed your stop and look as if to say, “pay more attention next time.” What? And miss all this fun, I think not.

July 5, 2011

Kegel Exercises- How To And Why It's Important

Many women don’t like to hear the word “exercise” thinking it is too much work or trouble but Kegel exercises are not only easy, you can do them anywhere anytime while you are doing other things. It doesn’t require special clothing or devices. No one can even tell you are doing them and the benefits will make you glad you did.

Have you ever laughed, coughed or sneezed and accidently wet yourself? You need Kegel exercises. Do you have trouble having an orgasm? You need Kegel exercises. Are you peri-menopausal or post menopausal and having trouble with vaginal dryness? You need Kegel exercises.

What are Kegel exercises?

You must first find the muscles on the floor of your vagina. After you’ve emptied your bladder practice tightening the muscles that you use to hold your urine. Tighten and relax these muscles, breathing and holding for five-second intervals. Do these as often as you can throughout the day. It helps if you do them at the same time everyday so you get in the habit, such as driving to work or while waiting for the bus.

Benefits of Kegel exercises-

After a while you’ll notice you no longer lose urine when you sneeze. If you feel a sneeze coming, tighten the same muscles you use when exercising and you will have no accidents.

Women who have trouble having an orgasm and think they need a larger penis or dildo will find they are now able to experience pleasure with any size man. Muscles become lax and loose when they aren’t exercised properly.

Exercising the vaginal muscles will also help increase the moisture production. If you find later in life you are more dry and don’t produce your own lubrication, doing your Kegel exercises will help with this and in many cases you will no longer need to purchase KY or other lubricating solutions.

Whether you’ve had children or not your muscles need exercise to keep them toned. After childbirth some complain of being looser or having less muscle tone. Doing Kegel exercises will help tone your vagina and bring you back to pre-birth size and shape.

Ben Wa balls-

Ben Wa balls are an ancient oriental device used to tighten the muscles in the vagina. Originally they were made of ivory or jade. You can still find some jade Ben Wa balls but now they are also made of metal or plastic. Some have smaller balls or other movable pieces inside giving a vibration some women find pleasurable.

They will help with your exercises if you are not satisfied with just Kegels or if you want to tighten the muscles even further. Many women enjoy adding them to their exercise regimen. Make sure you buy small ones. The smaller the balls the more toned your muscles will become. Follow the directions and make sure you attach a string for easy removal.