December 29, 2010

Resolution 2011

Resolution means: Solving or determining; the act of analyzing a complex notion into simple ones.

So basically when we make a new years resolution we solve our problems and simplify our lives.

To simplify is to reduce to basic essentials.

Hmm, so after buying all that stuff for Christmas we are supposed to turn around and simplify our lives. No wonder western civilization is confused.

My goals sound similar to last years because I didn’t meet my expectations. Did I set goals that were too high? No, I mostly just got sidetracked which happens to many who make a pact with Father Time.

1) I made another blog over in Hub Pages but soon neglected it. Three blogs is a lot to keep up with but I can do it if I don’t have so many outside distractions. This next year I will work on that blog. It is a more serious informational page and sometimes being serious is a challenge for me.

2) I am going to finish and edit my latest novel, which is not the same one I was working on at the start of this year. I know, I have ADD and get sidetracked a lot.

Last year I had three things on my list in fact making lists was on my list. This year I’m not going to write a schedule for everyday because that in its self takes time I could be writing. I am simply going to write.

Looking back I did accomplished some things this year even though they weren’t on my initial itinerary. Some are very important and even though I don’t post them here it has made my life better and after all that is what making resolutions is all about--- improving our time on this planet.

December 18, 2010

Indifference-The Quiet Critic

When you write you sometimes get reviews or at the very least a comment telling you what they think about what you have to say. Only the people who strongly dislike or enjoy your stories mention what they think. Those individuals in the middle seldom say anything.

It’s been my experience over the years that you can’t please everyone but it is important to insult as few people as possible otherwise your ratings fall. Unless you are going for shock factor and then you get a lot of people tuning in for a very different reason. They only show up to argue and tell you how terrible you are and if you piss off the wrong group of people you can be fired like Howard Sterns found out. Or if you are self employed you will be shunned which is the same thing.

I prefer to be a peacemaker ruffling as few feathers as possible. Oddly enough being a pleaser upsets some folks so like I said you can’t please everyone.

Watch television or movies for very long and you will realize that people’s taste change over the years. What was popular in the 70’s are not necessarily interesting to anyone now. Even people who grew up during that era may not find that type of story to their liking. We grow, evolve and our taste change. That is why redoing a movie from that era doesn’t always have the same popularity the original did.

Be brief: People don’t have a lot of time and those stories that go on and on repeating what you have already said in previous paragraphs bore a reader. They will soon move on.

Be accurate: If you aren’t sure of information say so. Nothing worse than posting a story only to find out later that your facts were wrong.

Edit, edit, edit: Read your work, let it lie for a few days or weeks and then reread it. We are too close to our articles and stories to see every error. Computer tools only catch so much. If you spell a word correctly but use it in the wrong context spell check won’t underline it.

Write what you want, what you know and what makes you happy and if you are lucky someone will enjoy reading what you have to say.

Ricky Nelson- Garden Party:

December 13, 2010

Ways To Stop Bullying On The Internet

A cyber bully or troll is a sad lonely individual who tries to make others feel emotionally insecure by defaming their character. Some were bullies in school but most were overlooked insecure individuals who have found the anonymity of the Internet gives them the power to be anyone they want, something they have never had in real life. That is until they are caught and punished.

Bullying is unhealthy. The bully's behavior interferes with his learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, and mental health. They are harming themselves more than they are others but most do not realize this. They lack the social skills and confidence to make friends in person and spend hours hiding behind a monitor. Although I say his, bullying isn't only a male sport. Many females indulge in this behavior also.

Some are obsessed with another individual due to jealousy of that person’s popularity and number of friends. They want the same amount of attention only they don’t have the ability to go about it the proper way so they decide to either pretend to be the other person or try to defame his or her character.

Those who are gay, of another race, or have different religious or political views are also targets of abuse. If they can find a few other people who are more than likely also cyber bullies that agree with them, they will gather momentum and increase their mud slinging.

In most cases simply ignoring them is the best method of getting rid of them. You don’t have to respond to everyone who makes a comment to you or about you in a forum. When you ignore them they eventually lose interest and find someone else to torment. I’ve even seen situations where the trolls have turned on each other and it resembles piranha who lose their prey and feed on each other.

Remember the words of the great Dr. Seuss:
Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

Your friends know the truth about you so no matter what silly things these trouble makers come up with most people aren’t going to believe them and in fact once they see the troll's avatar or name most won’t even read what they have to say because it’s just nonsense.

If you haven’t already, you need to protect your children from these predators. Don’t allow your kids to post pictures of themselves in public forums. Monitor computer usage and know who their friends are. If someone joins his group of friends and you feel uncomfortable about them send a message asking what motives they have. Only allow your kids on sites that monitor and protect them from bullying. Many websites that allow teenagers have security and privacy features that allow you to delete and block anyone causing problems.

If you find you have a person cyber stalking you or your child, posting threatening remarks, using your photos without permission or leaving defaming comments there are laws set in place to protect you. Depending on the severity of the situation you can go to the police or the forum and get results.

Put in a search for your state plus cyber or Internet laws to find out your rights. Keep records and copies of any correspondence you have with the website to resolve any issues you have as well as all posts by the perpetrator. If the forum and or the bully do not comply within a reasonable length of time you have legal rights and depending on your state some could face jail time-- they don’t even have to live in your state to be prosecuted.

Here is an article helping you resolve cyber bully issues. This is written to help kids but some of the same laws apply to adults.

If you can’t get the address and phone number of a website on the forum, do a search and you can usually find them. Send a letter that requires a signature so you have proof it was received.

Here are a few of the popular sites addresses:

1001 Elwell Ct
Palo Alto, CA 94303-4308

Yahoo, Inc.
701 First Avenue
Sunnyvale, CA 94089
Tel: (408) 349-3300
Fax: (408) 349-3301

1381 9th Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94122
Phone 415 566 6394

December 7, 2010

Who Are We?

We need titles and names. It’s what makes us who we are and defines us. Sometimes choosing one is not easy. I even had trouble naming this blog and may change it before it posts.

I’ve heard some women get offended over being called ladies. Personally, I consider it a compliment because where I come from only well bred women with manners are referred to as “ladies.”

We’ve changed the titles of employment to include women. We no longer have secretaries and in their place we have Administrative Assistants. Funny thing is in the beginning all secretaries were men.

When I was a little girl we had Trash Men but that no longer sounds nice so we moved on to Garbage Collectors and even further to Sanitation Engineers. I don’t feel very sanitized after they’ve been by but we won’t go into that.

Nationalities are a tricky group to name and we have changed most several times over the course of the years mostly due to people turning their titles into something ugly.

The way you say a word, tone and facial expressions can greatly change the meaning. Some words are just plain mean no matter how nice you try to make them sound.

Native Americans are a group that has had trouble with names over the years. We started out being called Indians because some poor lost man thought he was in India. That one stuck for hundreds of years until someone one day decided it didn’t make sense and decided to call us Native Americans or American Indians. In my opinion neither one fits us still.

Anyone who was born in America is a native American. Native means being such by birth or origin.

American Indian doesn’t work because if a person of Indian decent, meaning whose ancestors come from India is an American citizen he is an Indian American so you see how that can be confusing.

Another title that fits best, until some smarty-pants anthropologist comes along and proves different is “First People.” Indigenous Americans also works but is difficult for small children to say.

African Americans have had many names some very rude and derogatory. Most recently they were called black, which doesn’t fit because most are not black. They come in many lovely skin tones from high yellow all the way up to cocoa.

I always thought colored was the best description but that one didn’t work either because a few decades ago everyone who was not white was filed under the category of “colored.”

Funny how Caucasian people have always been called “white people” and that one never seems to change.

I don’t think we should worry about what to call each other and just remember we are all people. We bleed red, we cry tears and we love our families and friends. That’s all we really need to know.

Morandi - Colors