Around my house we use code words that have underlying
meaning. Unless you live here and learn the lingo you might not pick up on
these subtle nuances so I’m going to enlighten you.
We don’t want to sound accusatory or like we are making
demands so we use this way of speaking to offhandedly make suggestions or let
the other one know what we feel needs to be done. No finger pointing is done,
no direct complaints (in most cases) and no orders are given.
Most of the time it works out fine unless one of us is in a
cranky mood and then all the subtlety in the world won’t work.
Somebody
If I say, “‘Somebody’ left the bread unopened on the counter”
or “‘Somebody’ wadded up the dishrag instead of spreading it out so it can dry,”
it usually means my husband.
I don’t want to point any fingers and blame anyone but want
him to notice his transgressions. I don’t say, “I’m not your mother or maid,”
because truth be known I kind of am.
It won’t change anything, the bread will be left to dry
another day and the dish cloth left to sour but it makes me feel better letting
him know I saw that and would appreciate it if he doesn’t do it again.
If he’s in a bad mood he’ll say, “I know ‘Somebody’ is me.”
Then to smooth over the edges I’ll say, “Of course you are
‘Somebody,” Darlin.”
We
“We” is me.
If my husband says, “‘We’ need to get some more cookies” or
“‘We’ need to deposit this check,” he’s talking about me doing these things.
Also if he says, “I thought “we” were going to take care of
that?” This also means me. It’s his way of letting me know, “I told you to do
that, why didn’t you take care of it?”
After years of marriage people get a little weird.
You Know Who
Our dog is deaf now but he’s really smart and when he could
still hear we would often say, “I’ll give the rest of my pizza to You Know Who.”
Trouble is Basil is so smart he eventually figured out that when
we said You Know Who we were talking about him so he would get excited when we
said we were going to give him some food. You would think after the dog learned his code title we would
stop but no.
Sometimes he’s still referred to as You Know Who even though
he is deaf as a post and hasn’t a clue what we are saying much less who the
conversation is about.
T-shirts
I’m thinking about having shirts printed with We and
Somebody on the fronts that way when people come over there won’t be any
confusion as to who we are talking about when speaking in code.
I guess I should have a shirt made for the dog too.
