May 31, 2011

Effeminate Men Are Not Always Gay

I live in the Bible belt where everyone thinks you should act, dress and think the same way. You try to be just a little bit different, artsy or stand out in any manner and folks stare at you. Actually, that’s mostly in the smaller towns. The bigger cities don’t care so much but even they expect certain behavior they just aren’t quite as rude about it realizing if you stare too long you might get your butt kicked.

I’ve dressed a bit out of the ordinary before, actually I tend to not dress like the locals on a pretty regular basis. I don’t own a pair of sweats or tennis shoes for public wear; certain attire is meant to stay in the gym. Seriously, why would anyone think that looks good? I also wear my hair long even though I’m a middle age woman, but that’s another blog topic all together.

You may be asking yourself what any of this has to do with guys who are a bit feminine. My point is that people here expect certain behavior and ways of thinking and if you are outside that box they get uncomfortable.

Someone I know, we won’t name any names because its not really important, was told that people thought he was gay. He said, “No, I’m not gay, I like women.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t one of “those people”. Now here’s where it gets interesting. This person I’m speaking of, we’ll call him Tom was more offended of the attitude towards gay people than the fact they thought he was homosexual. Even though he is straight he has friends that are gay and is comfortable enough in his own skin he even goes to gay bars sometimes. It made him really angry that they thought of gay people as something terrible and he defended them, which of course then made him sound like he lied about his orientation in the first place and is in fact gay.

Are you still following me or did I lose you back at the gay bar?

You see, Tom was raised around gay men his whole life so he never learned to fear or be judgmental of them. His parents never pushed him into sports he didn’t like. He was allowed to be his own person.

If men aren’t into sports or hunting here in Oklahoma you are automatically suspect; as if homosexuals wouldn’t like sports or hunting. Crazy. Anyway, my point is why are people so uptight about who other people sleep with or find attractive and why is it any of their damn business?

I think most of them are afraid of themselves more than they are the acts that go on behind closed doors. They find themselves just a wee bit attracted to their same gender and it makes them uncomfortable so when in the company of a pretty boy metro-sexual they get antsy.

Just because a man cares about how he looks, isn’t sporting the rugged, just crawled out the woods look, likes shopping and isn’t into sports, does not make him gay.

Being a homosexual means you are physically attracted to your own sex and even then you might not be one hundred percent gay. Oh and by the way, many men who are “manly” in looks and demeanor are homosexuals you just don’t know it. They don’t all act girly.

If you are a straight man and afraid a gay man is going to infect you with his lifestyle then you have issues and avoiding all homosexuals isn’t going to fix you so get over it.

Here’s one of my favorite Metro-sexual men: Russell Brand.