January 29, 2012

Support Group Or Just Forget About It

For some people sitting around in a circle discussing trauma or issues they are having works for them. Personally, I’d rather just forget the whole thing happened; dragging up old problems doesn’t work for me.

I’m not going to go into the reasons why I’d need group counseling but I will say that my childhood was less than great and every form of abuse you can think of probably happened to me. There were visits to psychologists, school counselors and later as an adult I tried group sessions. None did as much good as moving on with my life and putting the bad stuff at the back of my mind.

Some will say that doing that keeps it in our subconscious and we drag it out anyway in the form of hang-ups. Perhaps, but I can definitely tell you I have less nightmares than when I sat around talking about old horror stories reliving it over and over again.

When a bad thought pops into my head I push it out with a good one or at the very least change the subject. This is when having ADD: Attention Deficit Disorder comes in handy. My attention span isn’t long enough to dwell on terrible things for too long.

Medication is basically a form of forgetting. When doctors give out prescriptions they are numbing the memories and dulling the pain. This can help too, but unfortunately drugs have all sorts of nasty side effects that can hamper sex drive, ability to care as well as a host of other physical problems that either show up immediately or later on in the form of organ failure.

No thanks.

Everyone deals with pain, loss and trauma differently. We all need to figure out what it is that works for us and what makes us feel better. For some talking about it helps, it just wasn’t my cup of tea.

We are supposed to feel pain and sadness.

Contrary to what the pharmaceutical commercials want us to believe discomfort is a part of life. Being unhappy or angry is part of being alive and if you don’t feel those things you don’t have that contrast to compare when life is good.

No one promised you a rose garden and if they did they forgot to mention the thorns, weeds, and spiders.

I’m a diamond in the rough. My past makes me who I am, a little messed up, a little freaky, and a lot out spoken. In person my inner editor isn’t always on so sometimes it’s a bit of a surprise to everyone, including myself, hearing what comes out of my mouth. At least you know where you stand with me; there is no sugar coating. I’m not fake nor do I pretend to like people I can’t stand.

Not everyone wants a girl child with opinions, too many questions and answers. Can I help it if I knew too much? I was born old.

I studied psychology so I could figure out what made me tick and I’ll be damned if most of the other students weren’t in there for the very same reason. In case you didn’t know it most psychologists and psychiatrists are fighting their own demons.

I now realize there are no normal people, we are all a little mental in one form or another some are just better at hiding it than others.

Due to my experiences I’m open minded and not quick to judge a person based on their lifestyle. We are all different and I’m okay with that.

In support groups you meet all sorts of screwed up people and at the very least you might decide when you go home that you aren’t as messed up as those other people. Funny thing is they were probably thinking the same thing about me but then again it’s probably just my OCD making me believe that⎯hard to tell.

Excuse me while I go count some bridge stripes and touch my chair six times.