August 31, 2009

Mother Nature is Frosting My Hair and Psychotic Fall Animals

I’ve noticed a few more blond streaks in my hair. *cough* It’s not quite the shade I would have chosen but Mother Nature didn’t ask me nor does she appear to give a hoot. So I’m contemplating going to a better cosmetologist to get the color I want instead.

Perhaps that’s why our eyesight starts waning in our middle years. Not only can we not see the onset of gray hairs and wrinkles in the mirror, but it’s also not clearly evident in our significant other either. Until I flip that little reflective glass over to the magnified side I don’t at first glance realize the extra creases and silver strands that have been added overnight.

I mentioned to the old guy I sleep with that I was getting gray hairs and he looks at me and asks, “Where?”

“Right here and here.” I point them out and he looks closer squinting. I don’t see anything.

Of course the man is blind as a bat. lol

We are having an early fall and I’ve mentioned this to my kids only to be asked how I know. Well for one thing the country critters are starting their annual suicidal walk a month early.

For some weird reason when autumn is upon us armadillos, raccoons and possums start running out in front of cars. I can’t decide if they are chasing females in heat and take leave of their senses or if they scream, “I can’t take another freezing cold winter, aaaaahh!” And step out into oncoming traffic deciding to end it all.

Someone should really look into this. Perhaps we need a homeless shelter to give the poor guys a warm place to sleep or maybe they need a furry version of Prozac. This is a serious issue no one but me seems to be concerned about.

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