November 23, 2009

Ho Ho Hum

It’s that time of year again when we fight old ladies over the latest “it toy” of the year and drive around for days looking for a parking place so we can suffocate in a sea of people looking for that perfect gift for extended family we don’t even really like. Yeah, it’s Christmas time again, bah humbug.

There was a time when I really liked Christmas. I would drag the tree and decorations out of the attic the Saturday after Thanksgiving spending all day putting up gaudy stuff we would never decorate our homes with any other time of year. But after years of going through the motions it’s too much like work.

Well, I’m here to help you out with a few tips and gift ideas.

Shopping online is nice because you don’t have to leave your home and you can find things you might not have locally. Before you fill out that online order form do a google search for the catalog company’s name and the word “coupon.” Most of the time you will find a coupon code for free shipping or a percentage off of the merchandise you are purchasing. Every little bit helps.

I’ve always been skeptical of giving my home phone number on those internet forms. If they need to get a hold of me concerning my purchase they can email me. Some will let you skip that line while others have it marked as a required field. Just put 222-222-2222 and you are on your way. Too many companies sell your phone number to others or use it themselves to “keep you informed of upcoming sales and events.” I get enough crap in my email box from these people I don’t need phone calls too.

We can always use a few gift ideas for those special people on our list. These items are for the more sophisticated individuals that appreciate the finer things in life.

Here is an unusual game you won’t find just anywhere:

The same guys that enjoy the above game will appreciate the following gift:

Here’s a plaque many can relate to:

Having trouble with people carrying off your favorite mug at work? Here’s one nobody will want.

And last but not least here’s a t-shirt for me. It’s even red.

There are quite a few “special” people in my family so I buy from that catalog every year.

Here’s one of my favorite holiday videos.

Here’s a couple websites I share with people every year. If you’ve been with me since last season you may remember them.

This is kind of cool. You can make Santa do all sorts of fun stuff. Ask him to strip and you’ll get a little strip tease.

This one changes every year. Yay! The snowman eats the kids again. Yeah, I’m a sick individual. Last year they had a little old man that smacked the kids with his cane. Good stuff.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel about Christmas as you do. And have for well night 30 years. I liked my mother's Christmas day dinner, and my spouse and I cook a fair one ourselves. Butterflied New Zealand leg of lamb cooked in 20 minutes under the grill. Serve with mustard sauce and garnish with rosemary, which grows like a weed around here.

I liked to go to church on Christmas eve or Christmas day morning -- and still do. I liked interacting with my parents and helping my mother. I can sing and love to join in the carols. But my siblings turned into jerks around Christmas, even violent jerks. I came to dread the holiday season.

And I came to detest the way Christmas has come to privilege having things over loving people, over the ties that bind, over the permanent things.

For a few years now, I have received every Christmas a decent book from the wife of a man who assaulted me several years ago. When I write to her about this assault, I am told that she tears my letters up unread. She won't write or Email me in any way. She somehow thinks that by spending $25 at Waldenbooks, then including the book in her annual Christmas mailing to my family, that that will somehow bury the hatchet. This woman has a science Ph.D. from a fine USA university. But when it comes to nurturing the ties that bind, she is clueless.

The right winger William F Buckley wrote that he would rather be governed by the first 5000 names in the Boston telephone book than by the Harvard faculty. I can only agree.