Don't Trust Your Appliances

I’m not kidding; they’ll turn on you just like that. snap

I got a new dryer this past summer because my old one finally got so old it wasn’t worth repairing anymore. It was about 30 years old.

This new one is a “smart” appliance and does all sorts of things except sew on missing buttons and fold them like on the Jetson’s but it’s just a matter of time before they come out with that model. I’m not sure I want one now after what I went through today.

My dryer was working great until about three days a go when it started turning off too soon. At first I didn’t realize it and wondered why my clothes weren’t dry. I have a hard time hearing the little bird chirping sound it makes when the cycle is finished from the back of the house so I set my oven timer and stayed close by so I could hear it. I didn’t have to wait long because six minutes in the appliance just stopped, no bird chirping, no beeping or a warning that he’s tired of working for pocket lint. He just stopped.

So I tried other settings and found that the casual cycle and the wrinkle guard buttons were the problem.

I called the repair number and after being on hold and giving my phone number and address to four people (don’t they put this in the computer?) I finally got a repair tech. So she has me put my dryer on the phone. I’m not kidding. These new fangled appliances can talk on the phone and tell what’s bothering them. Kind of like a clothes dryer psychologist.

“What seems to be the trouble, Mr. Dryer?”

Anyway the stinking dryer lied. No, I am not kidding he made it sound like I had pushed the wrong buttons in the wrong sequence and it was all my fault. Can you believe that?

You can’t trust appliances these days; they’ll turn on you in a New York minute.

Before the woman on the phone talked to my back stabbing dryer she had mentioned unplugging it and plugging it back in to reset it because sometimes that works. Before getting off the phone I told her I’d try that and see if it helps and if not I’d call her back.

So I get off the phone and fuss at my dryer.

“I see how you are, trying to make me look like I don’t know how to dry clothes. I was drying clothes before you were ever invented. I KNOW HOW TO PUSH A DAMN BUTTON.”

After giving that chunk of white metal a piece of my mind I unplugged him. Which felt really good in a cynical kind of way.

I guess I showed him who is boss. He’s working properly again. Sometimes you just have to let them know who is in charge. Just because they can talk on the phone and look fancy don’t mean they can get all high and mighty and think they are smarter.

I’m just glad no one was here to see me talking to a dryer.