I Don't Believe In Soul Mates

Soulmate: The belief that two people are two halves of a same whole as in Eve being taken from Adam’s rib and when they find each other they are reunited. There’s also a fable in mythology that says we were all four legged beings that were halved and when we find true love it’s our other half of our body and soul.

This all sounds great but what about people who have loved more than once? Some people love more than one person at the same time as in polyandry (having more than one husband) and polygamy (having more than one wife). I doubt they love one spouse any less than the others. They may have a favorite but they still love the other parts of their union.

For those of you who have never heard of polyandry, there are a few tribes left in China, India and Africa that participate in this practice. There also used to be Native American tribes that were matriarchal and some had multiple husbands.

And of course y’all already know about the Mormons and Middle East practices of having more than one wife.

Do you think those people believe only one of their spouses is their soulmate? I doubt it.

Then there is the fact that women tend to outlive men. I’ve known many elderly ladies that have had more than one husband over the course of their lives. When asked which husband they loved the best most cannot give an answer. They loved them all in different ways and for different reasons. Saying one was their soulmate would take away from the love they had for their other husbands.

I’ve known men who had several wives throughout the years and depending on the situations after they divorced many of them still hold a fondness for their ex-wives even though they are no longer together.

So you see why I have a problem with the whole soulmate idea? Yes, some people find only one person in this life to love and they stay together until death do them part after one is left behind that person never remarries and lives alone and probably sad.

The whole “Death do us part” implies that once one person passes the contract is null and void meaning the union is finished. One soul has gone on to heaven, reincarnation or if you are atheist then you probably believe the energy within is simply extinguished and the body becomes dust. If you believe in an afterlife it implies half a soul is left behind leaving half a person. I don’t like to think they are less than whole.

This would also imply that all single people are not a full individual and are somehow lacking. Those who have decided on a life of singlehood would beg to differ with you on that point.

I like to think we are all whole entities with endless amounts of love we can share with as many people as possible all at once or one right after the other; whatever floats your boat.

I’m married to one man and one is quite enough to clean up after so I’m not into polyandry and I don’t share so polygamy is out of the question. Just so you know, I’m not into that sort of thing just giving you something to think about.

Is Pararnormal Fiction Coming To An End?

I don't think so and I'll tell you why. Even though it's been around for quite some time I don't see any sign of it waning. After a couple decades I thought surely folks would tire of witches, vampires and shape shifters but not only do I continue to see it on bookshelves but flip through the television channels and you'll see "Once Upon A Time," "True Blood" and  "Grim" among many others.

Either we all have a wild imagination or people are a messed up bunch these days. I tend to believe it's a little bit of both. 

You also don't have to stick to the rules. Dracula couldn't look at a crucifix, see his reflection or be seen in daylight but look at all the new vampires and you'll see all sorts of changes. Some quite silly but none the less you can have your creatures do just about anything you want these days. 

When writing we must keep up with what is popular but don't let that limit your imagination. If you want to write something no one else is attempting by all means go for it. You just might come up with the next break out genre or have a story that overshadows anything else that is out there.

Those of you writing about dragons and demons wondering if by the time your story is finished there will still be an interest, have no fear. The snowball that J.K.Rowling let loose in the 90's has gained momentum and doesn't appear to be crashing yet.

I truly believe there will always be people who enjoy reading fairy tales and as long as you write a good one someone will read it. Writing well is the key. Just because you put a vampire or fallen angel in your story doesn't mean people will buy it and if they do buy it and it's bad, they'll certainly let you and everyone else know about it. Read Amazon reviews when you have some spare time and you'll see just how verbal people can be about what they like and detest.

I read a blog a while back by a writer who was taking a break from fantasy stating that she felt readers were tired of that genre. No, I think the writer exhausted her ideas and her readers could tell.

The problem with writing the same genre all the time is eventually all writers run out of steam. When you see them adding really weird stuff that's a clue they've come to the end of that road. It doesn't mean her audience no longer wants to read that genre it means she needs to take a break and try her hand at something else for a while. Don't stop writing just write something else.

Agents and editors make a mistake when they tell an author to only write more of what has already sold. Some authors use a different pseudonym so they can work on other things because they get burned out. Yes, writing more of what already sold sells books but eventually all wells go dry.

If you love paranormal and enjoy writing it then keep going. If at some point you feel you've exhausted your ideas, move on. There are dozens of genres out there and new ones being created all the time.

I read an article recently that a new growing niche of books are for college age kids. I thought most books were for the 20 year old age group but apparently not and agents are looking for books written for those just out of high school and finding themselves. I forgot the name of the genre but it has it's own title now. So if YA isn't cutting it for you perhaps you might move up a few years and try your hand at writing for college students.

Don't Give Up- Resolutions, Goals and Getting Back On Track

Over the years I've made a few resolutions and usually keep them. In 2007 I vowed to walk three times a week on my treadmill and I'm still doing it. My treadmill is sounding really loud so I suspect I'll have to replace it soon. Treadmills aren't just for holding clothes, who knew?

Last year I didn't really make a resolution but in November of 2010 I changed my diet to exclude and include a few foods to help my health and have stuck to it. When it comes to health I've always been good at sticking with a goal.

For this year I can't really think of anything I want to change or improve on. I always try to work on my writing and continue to improve where I can. I started this blog in 2006 and have had times where I updated it on a regular basis and then there would be a lull. My life isn't terribly interesting so it's not always easy to come up with ideas that wouldn't bore my readers. Some of you are probably nodding off as I type.

A resolution should be something you can achieve. Some people go overboard and write up a long list of things they will do trying to completely change their life and in the end don't keep any of them. One or two is much better. Trying to completely overhaul yourself is overdoing it and you are surely to fail.

Some goals are big enough in themselves like not smoking or losing weight if you are obese.  If you achieve one important thing that is great.

If you can make it fun that will help you stick with it. Exercise doesn't have to be a chore, eating healthy can be enjoyable and not smoking or drinking can also be turned into a game. Look at ways to attain your end results.

Find delicious recipes that incorporate dishes that are low calorie. You might take up cooking classes as well as losing weight. That would be fun and you might even meet new people.

What is it about drinking you enjoy? Is it the cocktails, the socializing or the taste of beer? Dissect your reasons. There are non-alcoholic beverages and beers that taste pretty good. Experiment and find a recipe that suits your palate and you'll be more apt to stick to it. When you go out carry your recipe with you, give the bartender a copy and in most cases he'll be happy to mix it up for you.

Cayenne pepper and jalapenos replicate the bite of alcohol if you want to add some zing to your drink.

If it's the socializing you crave then ordering a soft drink or juice will suffice. You can still go out with friends you just won't be getting sauced and the good news is you can be a designated driver. I have a friend who has been sober for years but still goes to parties and out with friends. He says he enjoys himself as much or more because he gets a kick out of watching intoxicated people.

To help stop smoking you might try the electronic devices they have out now. Some people chew gum or suck on lollipops. With more and more campuses becoming smoke free it's a good resolution to make. Think how much money and time you'll save not purchasing nicotine not to mention helping your health.

I know a woman who put money in a jar for every pack of cigarettes she didn't buy. Every month she counted her savings and put it in the bank. Having visual results of her self control helped her continue.

If you can get a fellow smoker to stop at the same time you can help each other during the hard times. Think of how much better you will feel. Try to concentrate on the positive effects of not smoking instead of what you are giving up.

I've had some people tell me that they find walking on a treadmill boring and want to know how I have kept it up. It is a repetitious exercise lacking in excitement so you have to do something else at the same time like reading a book, listening to audio books or watching television. You can talk into a recording device if you are a writer, dictate a novel or an article or you can just make lists of things you will accomplish later. You can borrow educational videos from the library and learn a new language, skill or information.

Don't simply walk...learn. Walking increases blood flow to our brain helping us think better and it's a good time to exercise our mind at the same time we help our heart, muscles and joints.

When you rethink the task at hand it brings it to a new prospective and just possibly will help you achieve that goal you set.

If you are trying to get a book published watch this next video and never give up. Even the big time authors were rejected, some many, many times.