Heat Makes Me Stupid and Deviated Septums

I went to an arts festival over the Memorial weekend. The temperature was in the 80’s and while that may not seem very warm to some of ya’ll, add in high humidity, wall to wall people and no breeze and it’s hard to breath. I don’t care who you are and carrying those tanks of oxygen don’t help cause the man with the tracheotomy told me so.

I’ve come to realize that when I am overheated my brain goes on vacation and I become “special.” Just put me on the short bus because suddenly I can’t think. There was a vendor with jewelry made from tiny pen and ink art of different things and one looked like Audrey Hepburn. I could not for the life of me think of her name until I got home under the influence of air conditioning and tequila and by then it was too late and I’d already made a fool of myself trying to describe her.

You know, she was in that movie about eating at a store only it doesn’t make sense because I don’t think you can really eat in a store? She has dark hair, is really skinny and dresses really great, which when you think about it doesn’t really narrow it down because most actresses are skinny and a good number of them have dark hair. Come to think of it most of them dress pretty good too. No wonder the vendor looked at me like I had Jello for brains. She’s nodding her head, smiling and thinking she’ll be glad when this crazy rambling woman moves down the way.

I also forgot my right from my left and couldn’t find my car to go home. Thank goodness for those nice security guys. I promise I only had one Corona and it was only three points on the Richter scale, which is really nothing if you think about it.

My husband had sinus surgery yesterday morning and I’m playing nurse. They had these cool paper gowns at the hospital that hook up to a blow dryer looking thingy with a vacuum hose. It had a remote control you could turn on and blow warm air inside the gown inflating it. Kind of reminded me of the Willy Wonka movie when the girl chews the gum that blows her up like a blue berry. The gown was blue too.

After we got home Jennifer was making him a smoothie, I was making him chicken noodle soup and he was hollering for a cough drop. I asked him if he needed three nurses and he said that would be nice.