June 5, 2009

All Of My Doctors Are Turning Into Men

No, they aren’t having sex changes, at least not that I know of.

Here’s the deal.

Once upon a time (all good stories start out that way) I went to an old guy doctor cause I didn’t feel comfortable with young physicians looking at my hooha and back then all doctors were men; at least here where I live. I had in my silly young head that old guys didn’t think about sex so I was safe. lol

Eventually, as happens with older doctors, he retired and I had to find another one. A friend recommended one that was really good and would write me a prescription for anything I wanted (yes he really does and he’s not taking any new patients so you are out of luck) the only problem was he’s my age, give or take. Darn. Luckily, another friend had a woman gynecologist she went to and my troubles were over, for a while.

Unfortunately, I’m not the only woman in the state of Oklahoma that doesn’t want a man doctor looking between her legs so my female gyno soon became very popular… and very full. If you aren’t having babies (the biggest money maker) you are put at the back of the list of importance and it became harder and harder to get an appointment.

I finally became very perturbed a couple of weeks a go when I was going to have to wait eight months to get in and my yearly appointment is supposed to be June. This throws my whole schedule off and makes me anxious. I figured what the hell and asked if all the doctors are that booked up. Oh no, the men doctors have plenty of openings. Surprise, surprise.

What the hell, I made an appointment with a man, no problem I can get in anytime. When would I like to come in? Wow.

I read an article a few months a go that said that colleges were discouraging men from becoming gyn/ob doctors because they had a hard time getting patients. Now that more and more women are going to medical school, women prefer them. Maybe I’ll get better care since he has plenty of time on his hands. I’ll try not to think about what he’s doing between the stirrups.

Doctor number two:

Once upon a time I had a man dentist. He went to my church and practiced in my town just a mile down the road. How convenient. Well, some of you may have heard that the suicide rate among dentists is very high. I can tell you from first hand experience, yes it is. My dentist shot himself in the head out on his land about fifteen years a go. It was really sad. It’s bad enough to have your dentist do him self in but when you know them personally it’s even harder. His wife still goes to my church.

A woman dentist took over his practice in his same office and I’ve had her up until this week. She has decided to cut her work schedule way back so she can travel and a new young man fresh out of dental college has come in to help with the extra work. I probably sound like an old lady but he’s the age of my oldest son. I half expected to see him dribble a ball or grab up a Gameboy. God I feel old.

What the heck, I’m giving him a shot but just realized I no longer have women doctors. It’s going to be strange.

This song has nothing to do with doctors. I just like it. It’s a little slow getting started but if you give it a chance I think you’ll like it too.

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