March 27, 2009

Can I Help You?

I looked real hard after I got home but couldn’t find the sign that must be hanging around my neck.

While shopping I was stopped by four men asking for help.

Man number one has three earrings in each ear, a stud in one eyebrow and a ring in his lower lip and he asks me, “Do you know anything about pillows?”
“Well, I sleep on one.”
Man number one:
“I need to know what kind I should sleep on.”
It depends on how you sleep. I sleep on my stomach so I like a feather pillow because it’s not too thick. If you sleep on your side you would need one a little thicker so you don’t wake up with a crick in your neck.
There was more to the conversation but I won’t bore you with pillow talk.

A little later I saw him asking another woman with long brown hair about shoelaces. I noticed he didn’t have a pillow in his buggy. Hm, must have a thing for brunettes with long hair.

In the frozen foods section I meet another man, a tall dark guy in jogging pants and a black T-shirt.
Man number two asks me if I would help him.
His wife had surgery and can’t cook. He didn’t know anything about cooking and needed to know what he should buy and how to cook it?

I won’t bore y’all with the whole story but I helped him pick out some things that wouldn’t be too hard to prepare and told him what to do.

Later in the hardware store I meet another man.
Man number three asks me if I know anything about roses.
Why yes I do. Lol So I proceed to tell Mr. Three all I know about roses including the fact that the picture on the Tropicana rose package is not accurate because it should be an orange one and not red.

I’m such a know it all.

So I’ll be darned if I don’t get out to the parking lot and there’s an old guy, probably in his eighties leaning on a cane looking at my car. Parked across the lane is his car, which just happens to be a red RAV4 and he asks me all kinds of questions about what features my car has since mine is a Limited and his isn’t. Cars aren’t my thing so I can’t remember all the junk the dealer told us at the lot and I’m not much help.

Now if he wanted to know about bed pillows, microwave meals or roses I could have helped him, but unfortunately I know very little about cars.

I’m still trying to find that sign.

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